Reasons for personal life problems. Concept of ‘love’ and ‘be loved’. People want mutual love, but they do not understand in what sense it should be mutual. Problem of hyper-responsibility, inflated self-conceit. A duty to respond to the world with the same coin. Fear of losing love.
Reasons for problems in personal life in the consciousness
The issue of personal life concerns many of us. This issue is painful, and in the consciousness of most people there is a very rigid connection. Let’s discuss the concepts of “love” and “be loved”, because in the consciousness of some people there is an equal sign between these concepts.
Let’s take an example where consciousness puts an equal sign: “if a person loves me, then I should love him “, or “if I love a person, it means that he should love me too”. The first case is more common, and this kind of consciousness has a problem – hyper-responsibility, or rather, responsibility combined with inflated self-conceit.
A duty to respond to the world with the same coin
Many people want mutual love, but they do not understand in what sense it should be mutual. Whether it is sexual love, spiritual love, unconditional love or any other kind. But whatever it is, it has to be mutual. And here we should not pay attention to what kind of love exactly, but to the fact that the consciousness automatically puts out the sign of equality. That is: “If a person loves me, then I should love him” – an obligatory mutual action.
The question is, why does consciousness put this equal sign if nobody insists on it? Consciousness has an obligation to respond to a feeling with a feeling. Another variation of this obligation: “If someone hates me, I hate him”. Either way, it’s a problem that can be revealed in the distortion: there is a duty to respond to the world, or any of its elements, with the same coin.
If we lift ourselves a little above this structure and look from above, we see that the word “to love” or “to be loved” does not logically imply mutual feeling. On the contrary, it says: “If someone loves me, it is of his own free will; no one makes or forces him to do it.”
Love is a personal, inner and entirely voluntary feeling.
Consciousness cannot accept that this feeling can be used by you for your own interests. Without adequate payment. And of course you do not want to accept payment – sometimes the price is very high. But this payment is only in your mind, it is not in the contract. Where did you get the idea of putting an equal sign? You have to find the answer to this question.
There is a rigid mental construct in your consciousness that distorts the whole world view. And it distorts it very much. Who told you that you have to pay the world with the same coin? Maybe your love is worth ten times more than someone else’s love for you. But something in you makes your consciousness put an equal sign between these two positions.
Someone has told you that such a concept is correct. The question is who? You must remember who it was. If you set yourself a task like this, you will definitely remember.
You have probably had so little real love in your life that the fear of losing it has made you willing to pay gold for it. For any kind of love. Even without knowing it. Even if it’s not worth it. And while part of your consciousness says it is right – otherwise you will be left without any love at all – another part of your consciousness says, “Are you crazy? What are you doing?” And this is the inner conflict. The important thing is that by identifying your apparent problem it becomes clear how to resolve it.
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